Hey friend,
Quick life update: I moved.
Unexpectedly. Houston to Phoenix. In the middle of a Phoenix record-breaking high, perimenopausal, with two round-trip flights and a long road-trip, in the span of two and a half months...which tells you everything about my sudden, increased water consumption and absolutely zilch about my ability to pack a kitchen.
Fortunately, relocation was provided. Unfortunately, I'm still finding boxes. Still finding myself, honestly — which has made this season of the work feel more personal than ever.
While I've been quieter here, The Joyful Rebel Podcast and The Joyful Rebel YouTube Channel kept going. And the arc we just launched—the one I'm calling UNHIDDEN—is the most personal thing I've made yet.
That's what today's letter is about.
So. Let's talk about the committee.
The Committee That's Been Criticizing You For Years
Here's the thing nobody warns you about when you start doing this work:
The loudest critic isn't usually someone in your life.
She's in your mirror. At 7am. Before anyone else has said a word.
And...she has opinions.
During my sabbatical year, I made a decision that sounds almost embarrassingly small—
I stopped making the face.
You know the one. The scanning, assessing, well that's unfortunate expression I had perfected over forty years of standing in front of my own reflection and treating the woman looking back at me like a problem to solve.
One morning, I slowed down long enough to actually hear what I was saying to her.
That's when I realized: I would never say those things to anyone I loved. Not my daughters–I'd go Mama Bear on anyone who did! Not a friend. Not a stranger in traffic—and y'all, traffic is known to test my religion. But I was saying them to me. Every single morning. Before the day had even started.
So, I made a decision. I removed contempt from the room.
Not fake positivity. Not an affirmation avalanche. Just – stop joining the committee that has been criticizing that woman in the mirror for years.
That was it. That was the first rebellion.
Because contempt doesn't create transformation. It creates distance. And I couldn't reclaim a woman I was treating like an enemy.
This Week's Rebel Minute
The hand-on-chest practice.
Make one small promise to yourself today. Embarrassingly tiny.
The kind you will actually keep.
“I’ll take a ten-minute walk.”
“I’ll stop saying I’m fine when I’m not — just once.”
“I’ll drink the water before I open my phone.”
Then do it. And when you do — pause. Put your hand on your chest. Yes, seriously. Yes, even if it feels weird.
And then say quietly:
"See? I'm with you."
That isn't a productivity hack. That's self-trust, built one kept promise at a time.
Your Permission Slip This Week
You don't have to love everything you see.
You don't have to perform positivity at your own reflection.
You don't have to have this figured out by next week.
You just have to stop treating your reflection like an enemy.
That's enough to begin.
🎧 This Week on The Joyful Rebel Podcast
Episode 10 — The Moment You Stop Disappearing is live.
We’re talking about where self-trust actually goes, how you trained yourself out of it (without realizing it), and the one practice that changed how I start every single morning.
→ Listen Here
→ Watch Here
On The Petal & The Plot
Read the essay version of this week's episode over at Substack.
Paid subscribers get the full One Small Honest Promise ritual written out step-by-step + three journal prompts that go deeper for those ready to stop ghosting themselves.
Because the essay is the story. The paid tier is the excavation.
→ Read on Substack
Favorite Find This Week
This week, my parents flew in to stay with us, and I got to play tourist in my new home state of Arizona.
We cruised a peaceful lake on a steamboat...toured ASU with my daughters...drove around different areas of Phoenix...and spent an entire day driving 600 miles to see old stops on Route 66. We took ridiculous photos, sang a lot of Elvis songs (we love Elvis), laughed more than we talked, and stored up boatloads of memories.
My favorite find this week? Presence.
Playing tourist. Making the memories. Living in the moment. It's so easy to put off fun, silliness, genuine conversation, exploring until tomorrow. And tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Our legacy is being created now, today, this very moment.
As much as I've been focused on this very topic, teaching and speaking on it, I'm so grateful for real-life moments that encourage me to pause...notice...savor...enjoy.
And when those moments include Elvis and silliness? It's pure joy!
